Looking back on last spring and seeing the decisions I made then, I never would have been able to guess that they would have so directly impacted my daily life now, but they do, in HUGE ways. When I came back to school in January of 2010 I wasn't sure I wanted to come back to Lee in August, through that conversation and several other miscommunications/misunderstandings and, what I know now was God's hand at work, I needed a roommate for the fall. I met a girl and within 2 weeks of meeting each other we had decided to live together in the fall. As the semester was coming to a close, I realized that I had made a hasty decision and hadn't prayed about it at all - and was honestly not looking forward to the fall because I had an idea of the trials that lay ahead. In the middle of the summer the girl messaged me and said she would be living off campus, and then I was again without a roommate for the fall.
As August approached I grew more and more anxious about my living situation and who I would be rooming with. I finally got the assignment a few weeks before school. She seemed nice enough, and I was really excited about my suitemates. Well, a few days before I was schedules to move in I find out they have reassigned us all. This fall, my living situation was less than ideal and I was frustrated with God. I didn't understand why I had to endure what I did, but at the end of everyday I knew there was a purpose and I knew I would be okay. I've learned a lot from the three girls I'm still currently living with and they continue to teach me new things every single day - and that is not an exaggeration. I have learned over the last semester how to actually act on the things I say that I believe, especially when it come to loving ones neighbor, or even enemy for that matter.
If you've read any of my blog posts from the last semester you know that it has been a season of refinement, and as I have said before, we are refined through fire. And yeah, more often than not it is painful. God has and still is teaching me about dependence on Him. He is my safe place. Don't ask me why it has taken me so long to fully realize that. Over the last semester I have been in a season of just walking with the Lord, it's really been just me and my Savior and I finally came to the place where that was okay and I was at peace in the midst of the storm. There truly is nothing else like resting in peace of God.
Last semester I had been praying for a friend - a good friend who was on the same page, who was also seeking the Lord, and someone who could walk with me through life. At the same time I was also praying that God would place someone in my life that I could approach about living with in the fall. Little did I know that the answer to both of those prayers would be the same person.
Let's put it all like this: If I hadn't thought about leaving school I would have stayed living with the girls from last year. If I had stayed living with the girls from last year I never would have signed up to live with the girl who decided to live off campus. If I had not signed up to live with her, I wouldn't have been left as a single person to be placed in housing. If that hadn't happened then I wouldn't have been placed with my current roommate, and if I hadn't been placed with her I never would have learned half of the things that I have from this situation. And if I hadn't had been in the position that I was, I wouldn't have been praying for friends and for a new roommate. And if that hadn't happened I wouldn't have met Sarah, and if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be able to look back on all of these difficult circumstances of the past year and a half and see God's hand at work in every hard situation.
The girl who I had prayed to be friends with is now my friend, and not because I won her over or anything, because to be honest, all of our initial interactions outside of class were at my weakest moments of the semester. Translation: I was coming across like an emotional basket case, and she befriended me not because I gave this great first impression, but because God told her to.
As I prayed for a roommate for the fall, she always kept coming to mind and guess what I told God? "Um are you serious? No. There's no way she'd want to live with me, much less be friends with me! We aren't even friends! How am I supposed to approach her about next fall?? She probably already has a roommate she loves. Yeah, God, this is next to impossible....but okay, I'll pray." And I did. I also thought I was crazy. It seemed impossible and completely out of reach, and then the impossible happened. :) Her roommate moved out and she asked me to live with her! Now, it ended up not being able to come through for this semester, but I can see part of why, and that's okay because, like I am learning, God's timing is perfect in all things. [But don't be fooled, I was not always to confident in that last statement. Just take a look at the posts from the beginning of January. God and I had to wrestle through many things over the last few weeks, but by his grace and his patience he softened my heart and brought me back to the truth that I know, not what my humanity feels. And I can confidently say that I know He is in control.]
This week after much prayer (and let's be honest, a lot of freaking out and doubts that she would agree to this) I asked her about housing next year. :) The conversation was a good one. And now I know that I will be living with amazing people in the fall. I'm so beyond blessed and I am floored by God's provision and amazed at His ability to do what seems impossible. Because, as I too often forget, with God all things are possible.
Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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