This semester has been such a whirlwind and when looking back, I barely know what happened or how I made it through. That's the honest truth. What I do know: The Lord has carried me. There is absolutely no way that I have gone through this semester without him carrying me.
I think that at different points during this semester, my heart has been broken before the Lord as it never has before and then at other points my heart has never overflowed with joy more than it has this semester, and at some points, both were happening. It's crazy, I know. God has been humbling me in so many ways that it's kind of ridiculous.
The plan that God had/has for this semester is pretty much the exact opposite of what I had planned. If someone had come to me in May and told me everything that was going this fall I would NOT have believed them. But nevertheless, I am so grateful for it. If you've talked to me at all this semester, you've heard me say this, but I honestly mean this: I wouldn't trade it. I wouldn't trade the hard stuff for easy. I wouldn't trade in the refinement for something comfortable. This semester has taught me so much and these lessons and the heart transformation that is taking place is worth far more than being comfortable or having it "easy". As Christians, we are not promised that this life would be easy. In fact, we can see that following Christ is far from easy - but it is the one decision I've made in my life that is invaluable.
The people who have met me this semester, I feel, have gotten such a different first impression of me than they would have if they had met me under any other circumstances. I've really wrestled with the Lord on this particular issue - considering the fact that I've been trying to make some new friends this semester. He made one thing very clear to me very early on: I will bring the friends to you that you need and they will like you because you are you, not because you make a great first impression. Yes, humbling is definitely what you can call that.
I've come a long way with this post all to say that my heart feels so different. Yes, feelings change, but there are days my heart feels different and there are days it doesn't - but I know it is. My desires have changed, my goals have changed, my life has changed. God is doing such a work in me, and it's all for His glory. And honestly, that's all I want. I don't want my story to be about me - I want it to be about the Lord. I want to show people the love of the Lord and let them see the freedom we have in Christ.
I am found, forgiven, and free; I want everyone to know that same love and freedom.
Singing Harmony,
Morgan
