Rainy College Days

Posted by Morgan
I love Lee's campus when it rains. I know most people hate those gloomy days, but I love them. I think a lot on rainy days. I love walking in the rain. For some reason rain makes me feel alive. I love feeling the rain hit my face. My new favorite thing since I've come to college has been running in the rain. It's rained a lot up here, it actually poured a couple of weeks ago. And guess what I did, I went running.
That week had been particularly hard for me personally, as I struggled, and continue to struggle, with what I'm doing here. I was really upset, about what I don't quite remember, and so I heard the rain begin to pour down and I was like, I'm going! So I did. I put my iPod in on shuffle, and I step out of the bottom door of my dorm and I took off running. It didn't take long before I was soaking wet. It was a pretty surreal time because in my head it was like a scene from a movie. I've got the music blaring in my ears and I'm running and I begin crying in the rain, and I'm talking to God, more like yelling at Him in my head. As soon as I started running I said, "Okay, God. I need some answers. I'm not going to stop running until I have some." Scary thing to say, right? Yeah tell me about it.
So I run, and I run, and I'm running all around campus and I'm soaking wet at this point. And I just kept asking God why.  Why in the world am I in college? What am I doing here? Why did You tell me to come here? Why haven't you told me what you want me to do? WHY, God, WHY?!?!?!?!?!? And the rain had stopped to a light sprinkle, and the clouds were starting to pull back as I ran over by the library. I sat down on one of the benches and kept praying and going God, is this really where you want me? And then I sat there, in tears, and I began listening to the song that was playing on my iPod. And it was a BarlowGirl song and this is what it said:
"Good morning
The night is over and gone
I thought once
This dark would last for so long
Feel the sunlight
On my face
You have brought me
Through this place

Jesus, Jesus You found me
Through the long night you led me
You set me free

Do you see
Just what you've done in my life?
You gave me
More then I hoped for; now I

Feel your sunlight
On my face
You have brought me
Through this place"


You Led Me by BarlowGirl




When I started listening to the song, it was on the first verse, and when it got to the pre-chorus of "feel your sunlight on my face" it was like something from a movie. I was sitting there listening to it...in tears, and when it said sunlight, the clouds pulled back on the sun shown right through the trees directly on to my face. The timing could have only been God. And then I listened to the song all the way through and I came out with the following conclusion.


God's brought me here. He's brought me to Lee, He's got a plan for me. I have no idea what that is, but hey, I know He directed me here. He clearly showed me that...and it was amazing! :) I love it when God shows me in ways like that...it's always so memorable.


Singing Harmony,


Morgan
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Be Near, Oh God

Posted by Morgan
Most of you reading this are well aware of my love for music, and also, how often God speaks to me through music. Well there is this song by Shane & Shane that has been on my heart basically since I got to Lee about a week and a half ago. It's called "Be Near". It was a huge comfort to me, and I've tried to right about it, but honestly, I can't say it any better than the song already does. And if you've not heard it, I strongly, STRONGLY, encourage you to do so right now by clicking here! So here we go.

"You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but i'm asking to taste...

for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

Your fullness is mine
revelation divine
but, o, to taste
to know much more than a page
to feel Your embrace...

for dark is light to You
the depths are height to You
far is near, but Lord
i need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good"
-Be Near by Shane & Shane



It's simply amazing. It's been a huge comfort to be being here at Lee. I love you all.

Singing Harmony,

Morgan
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Out of the mouth of a 4 year-old....

Posted by Morgan
Well I've mentioned my next door neighbors before. I absolutely adore them. Abbey just turned 4 in July, which is so hard for me to believe, because I've known that family since her older sister turned 1!! I have so many memories with that family. I even remember when Angie told me that she was pregnant with Abbey.  So all that to say that I love this family so much.

Well, I moved into my dorm room on Friday, and so on Thursday I went over to their house to tell them goodbye. And when I walked in Abbey was running around - she has constant energy, sometime I'm positive there is Red Bull in that apple juice. ;) Well, I said, "Abbey, come here and give me a hug!" And so she came skipping over, her cute little curls bouncing around her shoulders as she did, and she nearly knocked me over with the force of her hug. As she leaned back from hugged me she leaned in to give me a kiss, and being the little four year-old that she is, all that she has seen of kissing is her mommy and daddy kiss. So she leans in and kisses me on the lips, leaving her colored LipSmakers on my face, and when she pulls back she put her arms around my neck and looked intently into my eyes and says, "Morgan, do you have a boyfriend?" And I looked right at that little face, which was grinning at me, and I looked at that smile, which contributed to her sparkling eyes and little dimples on her cheeks, and I said, "No, Abbey, I don't." And she leaned in toward my face, eyes sparkling, and she said so confidently, "He'll find you!" It was very matter of fact, and after she said it she leaned back and bounced away to be energetic and share her joyful little self in another part of the house. 

I sat there amazed at how God can speak through a little child. When I told that story to one of my guy friends here at school, he said, "Little kids can be so prophetic." And they so can. My four year-old neighbor did not know that I had been thinking about relationships and marriage, she did not know that I had been seriously asking God why He hadn't brought that person along yet. And yet, she leans in to my face and says in a very matter of fact way, "He will find you." And I was speechless. But I seriously believe with all my heart that those words were from God...speaking through my four year-old neighbor. 

I was reminded just moments ago of the things that I have to appreciate in God right now. Things I DON'T have to wait for. I dear, dear, dear, friend of mind reminded me that in Christ, I have all I need. Every need, every desire, every longing to feel wanted and to have the attention of a Godly man, all of it and so much more, must first be found in Christ before He can give it to me in that person He has created for me. And she put it so beautifully, and perfectly, this way:

"He must wholly have my heart before another may seek it out.
He is worthy of my devotion, my trust, my whole attention, my patience.
He alone will satisfy my heart’s cry to be cherished, and to be prized."

Right now I am continuing to learn about full dependency on Christ. Finding my fulfillment in Him, which, when you are on a campus where, as my roommate and I are realizing, many people come to find The One, it's pretty stinking hard to keep your eyes fixed on Christ.  But I'm learning, sometimes it's a day to day thing, and sometimes it's a second to second thing. It's hard, but what I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that I am honoring Christ by waiting on the one. By waiting for Him to bring that person to me. I know that. And what's even more, is that God has said wait. He specifically told me that right now, it is not the time. So I'm learning to patiently wait on the Lord. 

My life kind of reminds me of the While I'm Waiting song by John Waller. I'm waiting on the Lord. I'm seeking Him on many things right now, but while I'm doing that I'm serving, I'm loving, and I'm working on being a light for Him on this campus where I see so many hurting people. 

I'm learning so much right now...and classes haven't even started. College rocks. ;)

Singing Harmony to the King of Kings, 

Morgan
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College...wow

Posted by Morgan
The place is insane. I can't believe I'm here. In a way it feels surreal and in a way it's possibly the saddest thing ever. 

First, it's exciting because well first of all, I LOVE my roommate, which is such a relief. We get along really well and we just click - huge answer to prayer!! And I love the campus, I love my room, I'm even excited about the actual school work itself. The campus really is beautiful...and I'm really looking forward to living here...even though I'm living in hicksville! Like I'm not even kidding...I saw a lady at walmart today who had a mullet. 

Second, being enrolled in college, having a room, getting my books, going through orientation, all of that....it's constanty reminding me that life is moving so fast. I have three years left...and then I'm out of college. And in the grand scheme of things, that's not that long. I guess the past two days have been like a wake up call in a way. I'm kind of an adult and I'm living three hours from home.  I'm so scared but excited at the same time.

Singing Harmony, 

Morgan
Category: 2 comments
Posted by Morgan
As the move in date for college is quickly drawing closer, I can't help but feel sad. I know that college will be an adventure and I know that God has a plan for me at school, but words cannot begin to express how deeply I desire to be going somewhere familiar. Starting all over again is just scary to me. I know that I will meet people and make friends, but goodness, if I could just go to something familiar. The unknown is just....well it feels so unpredictable. I want something familiar, but I know that in following Christ we will not always be returning to the same place. We won't always know what we are getting into, or where we are going for that matter. I know that following Christ is rewarding and an adventure, and hard, but sometimes easy would be nice. But when things are easy, you don't learn anything. You don't get to experience trusting Him to take care of you. You don't get to rely fully on Him when you have some form of control over your life. I'm heading off to college. I'm getting a new roommate, I'm getting all new people to know, I'm starting my college experience. Goodness gracious. Crazy scary...but crazy fun. So I'm ready, but I'm sad too. I know this post has been me going back and fourth arguing about how I feel going off to college....I'm so ADD. I need to decide how I feel and stick to it. ;)
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The Motions

Posted by Morgan
It's so true that life is a journey. I really can't accept that it's anything else. There is constant change and this has shown me yet again that there is a constant need for dependence on Christ. This summer has definitely not been anything like I thought my summer would go...especially this summer. I had my summer planned out in my head. I knew what I wanted to do, what I wanted to learn, and all the things I wanted to accomplish. And while I've done a few of those things...this summer has been completely different than what I had planned. The past few months have been so hard, so challenging, and SO frustrating. I've been disappointed and let down more times than I expected. I've faced challenges that I never expected to face. I had to face things that I thought I had dealt with a long time ago.

As most of you reading this know, I adore music. It is a huge part of my life, and it always has been and probably always will be. Well anyway, yesterday I was driving home from work and I was really challenged by this song by Matthew West called The Motions. I had heard it before, but I don't know that I really took the song in and listened to every word and thought about what it meant. It really challenged me to look at things differently. And I realized that for a large part of this summer I've just been going through the motions...and I hate that. I hate the rut I seem to have fallen into. There are a lot of contributing factors that are beyond my control that have pushed me to the state that I am currently in, but I am slowly beginning the climb back up to where I truly want to be. And it has been so refreshing.

God has been giving me melodies and words and I sit at the piano and try to find the notes that fit, and those times have been some of the most amazing times ever. I love it. Am I a seriously talented musician? Absolutely not. But do I love Jesus Christ and am I playing and singing for Him? 100%. It's been such a sweet time with me and God. He's been showing me how He truly is holding me...even when I feel so incredibly alone. He's been showing me how He will constantly provide when I trust Him. He has been showing me His amazing power, love, and faithfulness.

I think the line from the song that has been speaking to me the most at the moment is "take me all the way". It's so powerful. All wrapped up into one line, it says so much. I want Christ to use me, I want Him to break me, I want to be fully surrendered to Christ in a way that I've never known. I don't wanna be going through this life mindlessly. I do not wanna go through the motions, like the song says, I want Christ's all-consuming passion inside of me. I want to give everything to Christ. I want to be in full surrender. It's not going to be easy, and it is definitely not going to be comfortable....but hey, no one said this was going to be easy. But it is what is best. It's where I need to be.

Seriously guys, go watch this video. It's amazing.

Singing Harmony,

Morgan
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Frustration!

Posted by Morgan
I don't even know what to think or feel right now. I am so beyond confused.  I am ready for school. I'm ready to get out of this bubble of a town and be around people my own age again. I'm ready to focus on school.  August, will you hurry up already?!
Category: 1 comments