Joy & Peace

Posted by Morgan
When some people write they have these lovely little ways to start off their stories. They cleverly come up with a creative way to lead in to what they are going to say. Well, I'm generally not one of those people, so here we go...

Today I'm flooded with a strange mixture of emotions. One of my best friends is officially on her way to South Africa. She's on the plane right now flying somewhere over the ocean. Three years is a long time. So much will happen over the course of the next three years. That very thought makes me both incredibly sad and excited.  I will/do miss her and I will not deny that it will be an adjustment to not be able to pick up the phone and call or text her. But God is more than sufficient.

When I think about the "sad" part of this it sounds so selfish. This is probably due to the fact that it is. I want her here with me. I want here in the same time zone. I want her on this continent. But what I want more than all of that is for her to follow where the Lord is leading her - and she is! I could not be happier. And right here is where we transition into the joyful side of this.

Many things make me happy, but this is something that brings me joy. I'm a incredibly empathetic person (anyone reading this already knows this fact very well). Most people think of empathy in relation to sadness (Don't confuse empathy and sympathy! But that's another topic for another time...). Empathy also comes in with happy situations. I literally rejoice with my friends. I rejoice with my friend in this new journey! I am so excited for her.  I have such a peace in my heart and I know and trust that she is following where the Lord is leading her. Knowing that one of my best friends is doing what she loves, using the passions and gifts God has given her, in a country she adores fills my heart with peace and joy. Those things far exceed the sadness I feel.

Hanna's flying across the ocean and while I definitely have (and will probably continue to have) my moments where I cry and miss her, I rejoice with her and for her in this new opportunity. I cannot wait to hear the things God is doing in her heart and in her life. God has provided for her and opened the door that she (and I) have been praying for. 

Like I said, it's a strange mixture of emotions. Even in the midst of all this I am reminded that God has provided for me, too. While her friendship is most definitely irreplaceable(and I wouldn't dream or even want to ever try!), God has brought some new people in my life to walk with me through this next season - and especially this summer. This summer will probably be the biggest adjustment to her being gone and I am thankful that the Lord has placed people in my life to walk with me and also push me towards Him in the process. I'm blessed and I'm grateful. 

God is good. I'm am at peace. I know I will see her soon; July 1st is just around the corner...

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Life Lessons

Posted by Morgan
I went to a funeral today and I walked away once again with a feeling of inspiration. I generally do walk away from funerals feeling inspired to go out and actually do something with my life, but this one was different for some reason. I walked away feeling inspired, yes, but also, with a small glimpse of what I want people to say about me when I'm no longer here.


I was reminded of the importance of seeking after the Lord, of telling people how much I truly do care, and remember that life is short - so say what matters, don't take yourself too seriously, and LIVE. I feel like so often we get caught up in making it through this life and we lose sight of what it means to actually live. We are not put on this earth to live hell to go to heaven. We can have joy and freedom in Christ, now I'm not at all saying that this life will be super easy, not by any means, because honestly, it will not. If you didn't already know that, I'm very sorry, but welcome to the reality of this life. Life is hard; but God is good. At the end of the day, if your focus is on him and on him alone that is where you will find all that you need.


So I caught of glimpse of the person I want to become. I caught a glimpse of how short and fragile life is. I was reminded of the beauty of God's love and all-encompassing grace. I was blessed by the life of a man I never even knew.


So here's what I'm taking away from today:
1. Say what matters. Tell people about Jesus - It's a matter of life or death. Say I love you - and mean it, you don't know when God will call you home. We are not promised tomorrow - not to be morbid, I'm just being real. 
2. Love people. This kind of goes back to the "say I love you" rant I just got off of, but seriously, love people. One of the biggest compliments I can get is that I they feel loved by me. Christ loved people - so should we. Love people and love them well.
3. Live. Don't take yourself too seriously and get caught up in the daily things that drag us down. Don't lose sight of the fact that we have life in Christ. This life is fleeting - so live out every moment that we are given. Like I said, we are not promised tomorrow.


Maybe you find this all a little to clique. I'm okay with that. You might find this far to predictable, and I'm okay with that too. 


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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I Would Die for You

Posted by Morgan
I currently have 5 unfinished posts that I've been working on for over a month. Every single time that I sit down to write something, I hit a block - a big one. In all honesty, it's a God-sized block. In all things, God's timing is perfect. This song captures a part of what God's doing in my heart. My favorite line in the whole song is in the very first verse, so don't miss it. It says "And I pray that you will use my life, in whatever name your name is glorified, even if surrendering means leaving everything behind."


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Oh so this is what this looks like...

Posted by Morgan
What I'm currently learning(again): When we pray for something, we have a picture in our heads of what that answered prayer will look like. Well guess what, God may answer that prayer, but chances are it won't look just like the pretty little picture we have our heads. Bottom line: God's answer to some of my prayers look differently than I wanted. [But that's okay. I'm constantly reminded as of late: His ways, not mine.]


I've asked God for opportunities to live out the things I believe [not in those exact words, but that was the general idea]. I told the Lord that I want people to see him in my actions and in my words and in how I live my life. Well guess what - God has been giving me plenty of opportunities to live these things out - and it's hard. It's easy to imagine loving people who you LIKE - it's a whole different story when you don't like the people God has placed in your life for you love. Those people that truly need to hear about and see the love of God I don't even like that much. So hard - so frustrating - so humbling.


I've been reminded a lot of God's impartiality towards us. No one is better, no one is worse; we are all sinners. He loves us all - yet why do I look down on other people? Why do I treat others as less than some? As a friend of my said to me the other day, I'm constantly being reminded of the depths of my depravity and that I would be absolutely nothing with out Christ. He's given me an opportunity that is constantly there to show love to two people who right now are the hardest for me to show love to. It's small baby steps that I'm taking - but I'm getting there, and only by the strength of the Lord that I am continuing onward. If I was trying to do this in my own strength I would fail and fall over and over again - believe me, I know because I have all of last semester as proof of that very fact.


I'm learning over and over again to die to myself - my life is to glorify my King, not myself. I wouldn't want it any other way. Thank goodness God's grace is sufficient for all things - I am so desperately in need of it every day. 

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Blessed Beyond Words

Posted by Morgan
I think this is the first time in a long time that I've broken my own rule: never title a blog before you write it. Well, I just did. Whoops. Live on the edge, right? ;) But in all seriousness, there's nothing else I could write about right now other than this, therefore, I know that I shall not deviate from the topic that the title implies.


Throughout my life God has always shown up and revealed to me that He is working and moving in my life. I've always known that and there have been so many different things He's done throughout my life to show me that I am in the right place but never have I been so sure of anything else in my life thus far: I am in the right place. God has never confirmed something so many times and in so many ways. His provision is far beyond what I could have ever imagined - and in so many different ways.


God shown up to tangibly in my life in so many different ways and I am so humbled and blessed beyond words - it's true. This past week I've been walking around campus and suddenly I'll notice that people are looking at me kind of funny, and then I realize that I've been walking around with this ridiculously huge smile on my face, and I can't even pinpoint a single reason why because there are so many! 


I've come out of a season of pain and trial and am currently walking in a season of joy and reaping of the blessings that God has placed in my life. I am not under some crazy delusion that life will be all sunshine and butterflies from here on out - absolutely not. Life comes in seasons - but until the seasons change, I'm going to enjoy the one that I am in. I can't explain the freedom I feel right now. I can't find the words to adequately thank the Lord for all that he has done and is doing and will do, and I can't find the words to correctly describe the state of my heart. It is literally indescribable. 


And guys - FRIENDS! I have some friends!!!! God is so so so good to me. I don't deserve any of it - which reminds me everyday to thank him and be grateful for the blessings he has poured into my life. To those of you who might still be in the winter season - do not lose heart! Do not grow weary! Persevere, for I know that God is in control. Do not lose heart, my friends - he does not abandon us!


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Provision :)

Posted by Morgan
And yet again I am reminded that God is always fully in control and despite how it feels in the moment, He does know what He's doing. The last three weeks have been such a whirlwind. I literally feel like I've been back at school for ever - but it's not even been a month yet. I have seen God's faithfulness and His provision in ways that I could never have imagined. It's very humbling. 


Looking back on last spring and seeing the decisions I made then, I never would have been able to guess that they would have so directly impacted my daily life now, but they do, in HUGE ways. When I came back to school in January of 2010 I wasn't sure I wanted to come back to Lee in August, through that conversation and several other miscommunications/misunderstandings and, what I know now was God's hand at work, I needed a roommate for the fall. I met a girl and within 2 weeks of meeting each other we had decided to live together in the fall. As the semester was coming to a close, I realized that I had made a hasty decision and hadn't prayed about it at all - and was honestly not looking forward to the fall because I had an idea of the trials that lay ahead. In the middle of the summer the girl messaged me and said she would be living off campus, and then I was again without a roommate for the fall.


As August approached I grew more and more anxious about my living situation and who I would be rooming with. I finally got the assignment a few weeks before school. She seemed nice enough, and I was really excited about my suitemates. Well, a few days before I was schedules to move in I find out they have reassigned us all. This fall, my living situation was less than ideal and I was frustrated with God. I didn't understand why I had to endure what I did, but at the end of everyday I knew there was a purpose and I knew I would be okay. I've learned a lot from the three girls I'm still currently living with and they continue to teach me new things every single day - and that is not an exaggeration. I have learned over the last semester how to actually act on the things I say that I believe, especially when it come to loving ones neighbor, or even enemy for that matter. 


If you've read any of my blog posts from the last semester you know that it has been a season of refinement, and as I have said before, we are refined through fire. And yeah, more often than not it is painful. God has and still is teaching me about dependence on Him. He is my safe place. Don't ask me why it has taken me so long to fully realize that. Over the last semester I have been in a season of just  walking with the Lord, it's really been just me and my Savior and I finally came to the place where that was okay and I was at peace in the midst of the storm. There truly is nothing else like resting in peace of God.


Last semester I had been praying for a friend - a good friend who was on the same page, who was also seeking the Lord, and someone who could walk with me through life. At the same time I was also praying that God would place someone in my life that I could approach about living with in the fall. Little did I know that the answer to both of those prayers would be the same person. 


Let's put it all like this: If I hadn't thought about leaving school I would have stayed living with the girls from last year. If I had stayed living with the girls from last year I never would have signed up to live with the girl who decided to live off campus. If I had not signed up to live with her, I wouldn't have been left as a single person to be placed in housing. If that hadn't happened then I wouldn't have been placed with my current roommate, and if I hadn't been placed with her I never would have learned half of the things that I have from this situation. And if I hadn't had been in the position that I was, I wouldn't have been praying for friends and for a new roommate. And if that hadn't happened I wouldn't have met Sarah, and if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be able to look back on all of these difficult circumstances of the past year and a half and see God's hand at work in every hard situation. 


The girl who I had prayed to be friends with is now my friend, and not because I won her over or anything, because to be honest, all of our initial interactions outside of class were at my weakest moments of the semester. Translation: I was coming across like an emotional basket case, and she befriended me not because I gave this great first impression, but because God told her to. 


As I prayed for a roommate for the fall, she always kept coming to mind and guess what I told God? "Um are you serious? No. There's no way she'd want to live with me, much less be friends with me! We aren't even friends! How am I supposed to approach her about next fall?? She probably already has a roommate she loves. Yeah, God, this is next to impossible....but okay, I'll pray." And I did. I also thought I was crazy. It seemed impossible and completely out of reach, and then the impossible happened. :) Her roommate moved out and she asked me to live with her! Now, it ended up not being able to come through for this semester, but I can see part of why, and that's okay because, like I am learning, God's timing is perfect in all things. [But don't be fooled, I was not always to confident in that last statement. Just take a look at the posts from the beginning of January. God and I had to wrestle through many things over the last few weeks, but by his grace and his patience he softened my heart and brought me back to the truth that I know, not what my humanity feels. And I can confidently say that I know He is in control.]


This week after much prayer (and let's be honest, a lot of freaking out and doubts that she would agree to this) I asked her about housing next year. :) The conversation was a good one. And now I know that I will be living with amazing people in the fall. I'm so beyond blessed and I am floored by God's provision and amazed at His ability to do what seems impossible. Because, as I too often forget, with God all things are possible. 


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Sunsets

Posted by Morgan
There are a lot of different things that I could write about tonight: my frustrations with ResLife at Lee, my current living situation and all that it entails, my classes that make me want to cry, my current desire for money to grow on trees so everyone can stop stressing out about it, or lesson on love and patience that I am apparently in the middle of being taught. All of these things could be a blog post in and of themselves, but tonight, my focus has been redirected, and rightly so.


I spent the last few minutes reading IMPACT 360's blog about the Brazil trip and a post by one of the current student made me instantly flash back to my recent trip to Lebanon and I was struck once again by the importance of that trip and the lessons I learned while there.
Because of the layout of the city of Beirut, we spent a lot of time in the car traveling. As you can see in the picture above, there is not a lot of green. They exploit their land. The city is on the coast (obviously) and there are many mountains and that doesn't stop the building process. There are homes, apartment complexes, and businesses build into the side of mountains. With this in mind, you must understand that because of the way everything is built, if you are up on a mountain you must go down in order to get anywhere else - there is no such thing as cutting across; it's just not laid out like that.


All of that being said, we spend a lot of time in the car and I was privileged to get to see some breathtaking sights. One of my favorite rides was on the way to and from the "Our Lady of Lebanon" statue. In Lebanon the sun starts to go down around 3:30 in the afternoon, which is pretty early compared to what I'm used to. The ride to the statue was one of the most direct paths we took on our entire trip. We just climbed up and up and up and while we were speeding up, we got to see the most breathtaking sight. My mom asked if I was going to try and get a picture and I said no, and that I simply wanted to enjoy it. And that's exactly what I did. We had this amazing view of the ocean and the city. My words seem to be falling so short in description, but if you look at how poorly I am describing this scene, it obviously must have been something magnificent, and it was. On the way back down from the statue, the sun was setting, and it was absolutely flawless. Words truly cannot describe a sunset over the Mediterranean. 


I was listening to a song by Addison Road and I was just taken aback and how blessed and privileged I was to be doing what I was doing. I mean, I was in the MIDDLE EAST. Does that click with people?? The Middle East. We were in the heart of the world. Words cannot describe what my heart was feeling in that moment. It was completely surreal, and for a moment it felt like I was in a dream, a long, beautiful dream. It sounds corny, but it's true. I knew in that moment that I wanted to make the most of this trip. Soak up every second and every experience. I didn't want to miss a single thing that God has for me. The trip was not all sunshine and butterflies, believe me, but there is a different kind of fulfillment that comes when you are solely focused on others. The energy that you find to keep going comes straight from the Lord - and you know it. 


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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And apparently I'm still falling...

Posted by Morgan
To say I don't understand what God is doing is a massive understatement. I'm so confused, and I know God is not a God of confusion. The word trust has taken on a whole new meaning the past few days. I'm more used to trusting God with things that I have no control over, but for some reason it's been much harder for me to trust him with things that I feel like I could have some influence over. I know trust is trust, but something seem to be harder to let go of. I'm really bad about letting my mind wander in to the world of what if... it's so unhealthy and I have been working very hard the last few days to not let things go far and take each thought captive. 


So I thought I was through falling, well surprise! I wasn't! I'm still falling, I think the earlier part of the week was just the initial jump off the side of the building (again, if you haven't read the Aladdin post from a few days ago, you won't understand this reference). 


This song just came on my iTunes (I'm currently listening to my music on shuffle) and it's been very relevant in other times of my life, and yet again it has showed up to bring me comfort.
Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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So I've landed...

Posted by Morgan
Disclaimer: This is about to be an exceedingly honest post.


Scroll down just a little and take a look at the post where I reference Aladdin and once you read that, this following sentence will make sense: I've finished my very long fall and I've landed...and it was definitely a rough landing.


I have been challenged like I have not been challenged in a long time. It is a rare moment in time when I actually understand why God does what he does. I am very frustrated. Sometimes I want life to be fair - and it's not, I know that, but I want it to be. Sometimes it feels like you have been dealt a crappy hand and that at some point, you should be able to catch a break, right? Well guess what, God's plans are greater than we can see. I know all of this. I know all the right answers, but at the moment, let's be honest - I don't like my current situation and to say that I'm a little frustrated would be a gross understatement. 


This feels like a really cruel practical joke. Now, I know that God is not mean and not cruel - I'm not saying that he is those things, because hear me clearly - HE IS NOT. What I don't understand is why this opportunity was allowed to be presented to me, especially since it was the EXACT answer to my prayers, only to be taken away from me. That is something I do not understand. It does not seem right.


God and I have spent quite a lot of time discussing this lovely series of events. And I keep getting the same answer in that still, small, quiet voice: Morgan, trust me. Trust. That word can be so hard for me sometimes. Especially when it felt like so many things pointed to the fact that he was going to open the doors that were needed, and he didn't. I know he has a reason for not opening the doors, but I just don't know what the reasons are. 


To say that I'm disappointed is also an understatement. I really really wanted this. I'm upset, I won't hide that. I also don't understand this, don't like this, I'm frustrated, I'm hurt, I'm confused, and I'm not sure how long it will take for me to accept this. I know I have to accept it, and I know it isn't changing, I'm just not there yet. I'm far from okay, but I will be okay...at some point.


I know that God is good, I know that he is faithful, and I know that he is in control and I know that no matter what, he will give me the strength to make it through this semester. I know it all of these things and I also believe all of these things. I know that I will be okay, it's just going to take some time.


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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No Matter What

Posted by Morgan
As usual, God has placed a song on my heart that applies directly to where I am. It's called "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts. The lyrics are really challenging to me, but they are exactly what I need.

I know that no matter what the outcome of this semester is, I know that whatever piece of news I get today will not change the fact that God is faithful. I have spent countless hours in prayer of this current situation and have asked many people to be praying as well. I've been told things like "It could work, but I'm not holding my breath." and "It's a really small chance." but I am reminded that God can take small and make it big. He can take "could" and make it "can". With him all things are possible.

One of the hardest lines in that song for me is this: "Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s okay if You don’t." I have a particularly difficult time singing that line, but God's working on my heart and little by little I feel peace settling in - regardless of the outcome.

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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"Do you trust me?"

Posted by Morgan
I'm about to compare my life/what I'm learning right now to a Disney movie, so prepare yourself.


You know that scene in Aladdin where Aladdin holds out his hand for Jasmine's and says, "Do you trust me?" and she replies, looking very uncertain, "What?" and he repeats the same statement, "Do you trust me?", with a hesitant "Yes" she places her hand in his and he says "Then jump!" and then they jump off the side of the building. 


I love youtube - people put everything on it! In case you don't remember that part, watch the clip!


I feel like that's where I have been the with Lord the past few days He says to me, "Do you trust me?" and I'm over here going, "Whaaaaat?" as if I don't fully want to answer the question, because I know what comes next. And he repeats it again, "Morgan, do you trust me?" and to which I reply, "Yes I do." And he has gently reminded me that he is in control of all things. I feel like I have taken that jump, I've lept off the side of the building but I haven't landed - I'm still falling. And this fall is a long one. 

I know that in all things, in all circumstances, and in everything, that God is fully and completely in control. Even in what feels like chaos to me, he is in control. Sometimes (more often than I would like) I tend to think that I know what is best, but I don't. Even when the direction that everything is heading feels so wrong, God is constant and faithful. I know he's watching out for me - even when it feels like every where I turn things are falling apart. 

These are a few verses that are really getting me through this: 
"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." -Galatians 6:9
 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." -Romans 8:18
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." -James 1:2-3 (this is pretty much my verse for this school year)

Singing Harmony,
Morgan

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Lebanon Reflections

Posted by Morgan
I don't quite no where to begin in relation to Lebanon. I don't know whether to talk about the logistics of it all: where we went, what we did, and what we saw. Or the things God did in my heart. Or the food, because believe me, I could talk about the food for a while. I just honestly don't know where to begin....so I'm just going to jump right in and see where the words take me. Here we go:


I learned a lot over that trip, but when people ask me what I learned or what God did in my heart, I am at a loss for words. The things that really moved my heart and the things that really changed me aren't things that are easily described. I experienced the power of God in amazing ways and I got to see firsthand how the Lord just poured out his spirit on people who were as dry and thirsty as the ground of the Sahara. I got to see a young girl's eyes move from a place of sadness to a place a happiness, at least for a time. I got to experience God's healing power as he instantly healed me of sickness. 


So I ask you, how do I begin to describe these things in mere words? Where do I begin to try and put words to something that is beyond them? How do I begin to describe the power of God? I am at a loss, yet I will try anyway, even though I feel that no matter how many times I re-write, it will fall short of the actual experience itself, no matter how hard I try. In a way I like that, there is something so powerful in an experience that cannot fully be explained. And at the same time I wish I could download the mental pictures of these things from my heart on to this page.


The first thing that comes to mind when people ask me about the trip is this precious 12 year old girl. She was the daughter of the pastor we were working with in Beirut. God blessed me with the opportunity to have many one-on-one conversations with her and I feel so incredibly blessed to see what God was unfolding in her heart and life. I got to see a girl who had sad eyes when we arrived smile with joy that wasn't there before. I pray for her often, because I was blessed to see part of the work God is doing in her heart.


There was a lot of spiritual warfare on this trip for me. The enemy really tried to use a lot of different situations and circumstances to get to me, and I also got sick. On the night of our last concert I was unable to hear out of one of my ears because my head was so stuffy. Well, let me tell you, it's really hard to see if you are on key when you can't hear yourself out of one ear!  Right before the concert, me, my mom, and Bill were praying and as Bill prayed for me, I swallowed and all of the sudden my ear was completely clear. I stopped Bill from praying and said, "Okay, we're good!" God is so good and faithful, and when we has a plan for you, he will remove or help you over the obstacles that stand in your way.


FInally, on Monday night we got to go back to the Logos Hope (we were also there on Friday night). We had been asked by some of the crew members to come and do some workshops and have a night of worship for the ship's company. This was at the very end of our trip and it was the day before we were leaving and let me just say, we were tired. But again, God never fails. Like I already said, these people were like dry thirsty ground and God came and poured out his spirit and his peace and his power on that place, those people, and that night. God filled our entire band and as he filled us, it overflowed to the crew. There was one moment in particular that stand out: we were over halfway done with the night and we're singing and playing and people are worshiping in so many different languages and God just came and overwhelmed us to heavily that people were falling to their knees and on their faces. All of the sudden all of the band stops playing and is on their knees, I stopped singing on mic and went to my knees, and Bill went to his knees with one hand still on the keyboard trying to play something. It was the most precious time of worship I have had in a long time. These people came away feeling to refreshed and renewed and I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to be there.


Even as I re-read that previous paragraph, the words are so insufficient to what actually happened. I loved the trip so much. I love the way it was so different than any other trip and I love the way it challenged me. I love what God taught me, and I love what he's still doing in my heart as a result. God is so good.


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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A Heavy and Joyful Heart

Posted by Morgan
I don't know how it's possible to spend a few hours with people you just met, but when you leave, feel closer to them than you do to people that you see everyday or have known for years. The connections you can form with people so quickly astounds me when you come together for a common purpose.

My heart hurts and at the same time, it's overflowing with love and joy. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have gotten to know these people and at the same time, it shakes me to my very core that I might never get to see them again. I know that sounds slightly dramatic, but I can't fully explain this without saying things like that. And let's be honest, sometimes life is dramatic and guess what, that's okay.

You know when you meet people and there is just and instant connection and you go there and you go deep and it isn't awkward or hard - it's natural. I find that way of living so much more rewarding than the shallow everyday interactions that we so often fall prey to in America.

Tonight onboard the Logos Hope we had an incredible night of worship and there were people laying on their faces worshiping the Lord, there were people who were brought to their knees in tears and were weeping before the Lord. For the band, it was the most amazing experience and we were all so lost in worship that it kind of amazes me  that we all started and stopped together. You know when you have that sweet time of worship with the Lord and you walk away feeling such a sense of peace and almost tangibly feeling the presence of the Lord? Well that was tonight.

After worship I sat and talked with Stephanie and a little bit later Matt joined us. I'm so blessed to have gotten the privilege to get to know these two amazing people and I wish I had gotten more time with them, but God knows what He's doing, and I trust Him. But I cannot lie, when I got in the van after saying by to them on the ground at port, I definitely shed a few tears.

My heart hurts and I miss them - even though I only knew them a few days. God is good and has blessed me with the opportunity to know some amazing people - and I'm thankful for that, even if it's just for a few days.

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Lebanon Update

Posted by Morgan
This place is amazing. It absolutely floors me everytime I look out my window and see the Mediterranean Sea. It is breath-taking pretty much everytime I look.

Yesterday afternoon I sat out on the balcony and had some good precious time with the Lord. I sat there drinking my hot tea, listening to my iPod, reading my Bible, and journaling all while looking out on to the Mediterranean Sea. Talk about AMAZING.

Most of our time here has been spend rehearsing, sightseeing, and then so far we have done one chapel service in a school. The school was a really neat experience in itself. It was a catholic school and it was pretty much an all girls school. People here just stare at me, and I'm not talking about just a passing glance, I mean they will just look and look and look for like five minutes - and that's no exaggeration. We asked Milad, our contact here, why they all keep looking at me. He said it's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes - I don't know why I didn't think of that reason in the first place. So basically, I'm a novelty over here, so people just stop and stare. Thank goodness we are traveling with a great group of guys - so I don't think anyone will be approaching me anytime soon. :)

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. We're going to be doing three big concerts and I'm actually going to be leading two songs - AH! I can't believe it. Bill just asked me to do another one tonight - Here I Am to Worship. When you think about the words - it's totally a Christmas song. LOVE IT. At the beginning of the week I got really intimidated because this band is full of absolutely amazing musicians, and here I was having to ask for help to hear the harmonies. I was literally in tears before our first performance at the school. But God is good and I am surrounded by people who are encouraging and with God's help - I'm going to nail this harmonies.

This literally feels surreal, and I don't think that I am going to fully be aware that it actually happened until I come back. I cannot express to you the sense of urgency that I still feel for this country in this time. I was not aware of the fact that Lebanon is a country that has been through so many different times of war. The whole city of Beirut is in a stage of rebuilding and there are huge construction projects happening all over the city. It's amazing - but sad at the same time.

Today we went sightseeing and it was beautiful - but I'll have to write about those things later, because it is 11:41 pm here (4:41 pm at home) and I have to get to bed because we have to be up for breakfast at 7:30 in the morning - it's gonna be a long, but wonderful day - I can just tell :)

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Semester Reflections/Lebanon Beginnings

Posted by Morgan
Well, I can't believe another semester is over. It has been the fastest and the longest semester, and yes, I am well aware that I sound crazy. :) But it's true. This semester has been the most unexpected, the most challenging, the most frustrating, and in a way, the most rewarding semester I've had over the past two and a half years. 

Before leaving for school back in August, I was having a really difficult time with the idea of going back. I was ready to go, but I knew that this semester was not going to be anything like the previous semesters and I knew it would be challenging, but I had no idea it would be like it was. BUT, and I've said this a lot, and if you've talked to me about this semester, I can pretty much guarantee that I said this to you: I would not trade this semester for easy one. I have learned so much more through these trials than I would have if this semester had been all sunshine and butterflies. Life is not always a pretty and peaceful walk in the park, and as clique as this sounds, sometimes it is a climb up a mountain in the pouring rain - but that's okay. In fact, it is good.  I know I've said it, and I'll say it again - I would not trade it. It's been such a precious time with Jesus. Learning to trust him and walk through life everyday with a new mindset and a new sense of purpose is a beautiful thing.


Well, in a little under five hours I will be flying out to Lebanon. I cannot explain to you in words how excited I am for this trip. Last week I was sitting in my room trying to pack and I was listening to some music and I was praying and asking the Lord what his heart was for this trip; what is his purpose for us going. All of the sudden I was struck with the overwhelming sense of urgency. And very clearly I hear this, "I am moving. You are going to meet a need that is urgent." I cannot fully put it all into words the sense that was in my heart in my spirit at that moment, but I found myself on my knees praying and asking the Lord to prepare my heart for what is coming. 


I am so ready, guys. I'm excited, but not in the traditional sense that most people would think of. I know God is about to move in some big ways, I can't wait to see. I'm a willing vessel and I cannot wait to see how he moves! I will by flying over the ocean in a few hours :) 


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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What a Journey

Posted by Morgan
Isn't it interesting how God can just completely transform your heart? I'm kind of amazed by it. Last night I was reading through my journal and I was looking back at where I was and what I was writing six months ago and then three months ago, and I'm just in complete awe. It's awesome to see how God can change your heart and change your desires almost instantly, and yet some take time to change. God just amazes me, he truly does. 


This semester has been such a whirlwind and when looking back, I barely know what happened or how I made it through. That's the honest truth. What I do know: The Lord has carried me. There is absolutely no way that I have gone through this semester without him carrying me. 


I think that at different points during this semester, my heart has been broken before the Lord as it never has before and then at other points my heart has never overflowed with joy more than it has this semester, and at some points, both were happening. It's crazy, I know. God has been humbling me in so many ways that it's kind of ridiculous. 


The plan that God had/has for this semester is pretty much the exact opposite of what I had planned. If someone had come to me in May and told me everything that was going this fall I would NOT have believed them. But nevertheless, I am so grateful for it. If you've talked to me at all this semester, you've heard me say this, but I honestly mean this: I wouldn't trade it. I wouldn't trade the hard stuff for easy. I wouldn't trade in the refinement for something comfortable. This semester has taught me so much and these lessons and the heart transformation that is taking place is worth far more than being comfortable or having it "easy".  As Christians, we are not promised that this life would be easy. In fact, we can see that following Christ is far from easy - but it is the one decision I've made in my life that is invaluable. 


The people who have met me this semester, I feel, have gotten such a different first impression of me than they would have if they had met me under any other circumstances. I've really wrestled with the Lord on this particular issue - considering the fact that I've been trying to make some new friends this semester. He made one thing very clear to me very early on: I will bring the friends to you that you need and they will like you because you are you, not because you make a great first impression. Yes, humbling is definitely what you can call that. 


I've come a long way with this post all to say that my heart feels so different. Yes, feelings change, but there are days my heart feels different and there are days it doesn't - but I know it is. My desires have changed, my goals have changed, my life has changed. God is doing such a work in me, and it's all for His glory. And honestly, that's all I want.  I don't want my story to be about me - I want it to be about the Lord. I want to show people the love of the Lord and let them see the freedom we have in Christ.


I am found, forgiven, and free; I want everyone to know that same love and freedom.


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Four Seasons

Posted by Morgan
I went for a run this morning and it was absolutely gorgeous. It was pretty chilly, but I loved it. As I'm running through Shimmels Park I was looking at all the gorgeous leaves on the ground and admiring the changing colors of the trees, God literally placed this analogy on my heart and it came to me so quickly that I almost couldn't comprehend it all at once. I was thinking about my favorite seasons, Fall and Spring, and why they are my favorites. And all of the sudden God showed me the coolest picture. The four different seasons are like seasons in our lives. We'll start with Summer, cause that just makes the most sense to me! :)


Summer: As we all know, summers in the south are HOT! Especially in Georgia. Summers can be hot and long and exhausting. Summers in life are the hard trials, the beginning of them. These are the hard times; it's the heat of the fire and the initial start of whatever difficult circumstance is in your life. Sometimes it's full of a lot of pain and tension. I mean, it's a trial, it's not exactly going to be easy.


Fall: Fall is beautiful to me. I love the changing of the colors and the cool crisp air. Fall is the time where the old dies and passes away, but it does so in a beautiful way. It's like the season of life where God is chipped away and taking away the things in your life that aren't good; its the process of dying to self, and it's beautiful. When God is working on your life, yes it will be hard, but it will be beautiful.


Winter: Winter is cold and long and hard, but when it snows, there is beauty. Winters in life are the times where you become dependent on the Lord (or it's where I become more dependent on the Lord, anyway). In winter everything is dead or dormant. Winter can be harsh. It's like a bleak period where, if you are not focused on Christ, it can feel like all hope is lost. It's like when you're sick, and there's that time where you aren't contagious any more, but you have to take those few extra days to make sure the virus is out of your system, well winters are those few days for your life. Whatever God is stripping away to make you more like him, this is that time where you are refined and the time where the selfishness of whatever he is taking away dies off (if you allow it to). 


Spring: Oh spring! Such a wonderful and beautiful time. This is when life begins. It's a new season. After the hard times of winter, new life comes. Spring always reminds me that we are new creations in Christ Jesus. And in each spring of life, you are becoming more like Christ. It's a time of growth and a time of prospering. And spring, is beautiful :)


I hope that makes sense. :) It makes sense in my head, I just don't know if I explained it every well.
Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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An Answered Prayer

Posted by Morgan
So last night was so interesting - and such a God night! This semester has been so different, I'm pretty sure I've said that a time or two, and this weekend is only the third weekend I've stayed on campus all semester. I do really well during the week because I can be so busy and I don't have a problem sitting in my apartment at night doing homework, because its a weekday - that's okay with me. But the last thing anyone wants to do on a friday night is homework. 


So I put on some warmer clothes and went outside for a walk, just to see what was going on. I walked around, called a few friends, who were all busy - I mean, it's friday night, that's expected.  So I'm walking back to my apartment and I was just praying and asking God for a friend. It actually went like this: God, I know there is purpose in this time. I know that you are growing me and changing my heart and my life. But, honestly, a friend would be really great. I know its not something I have to have, but its something I would love. 


Well, as I'm walking by the Sharp-Davis parking lot, this red Mustang is pulling out and I recognize it and smile to myself because I knew who it was. Well, if I've ever tried to lie to you, you know it. Because I'm the WORST liar ever. Especially when I'm asked if I'm okay. Last night was rough, and I was really in no mood to cover that up. Sarah, the precious girl who sits next to me in Marriage and Family class, rolled down her window and asked me how I was, and I said, good...sort of. And she said we should hang out and I said yeah that would be good.


God is faithful and good! I didn't need to sit in my apartment all night, and God provided people for me to hang out with. We went to the sand volleyball courts and I just watched them play. God has purpose in all of this. It's so wonderful and it's so beautiful; doesn't mean it's easy, but God is faithful and his ways are far better than my own. And I'm reminded that God cares about the little things - even something to do on a Friday night! :)


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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A Challenge

Posted by Morgan
So the other day in chapel was sang "The Time Has Come" by Hillsong United. And this morning I looked up the song on youtube, because I wasn't sure I had it on my itunes. I came up with this video. And it's a live video with clips in between, I think it was done for a DVD or something. Anyway, I'm sitting there listen to these lyrics: 


The time has come to stand for all we believe in, so I, for one, am gonna give my praise to you. Today, today it's all or nothing. All the way, my praise goes out to you. Yeah my praise goes out to you. Today, today I live for one thing: to give you praise in everything I do, yeah my praise goes out to you.


And as these are being sung, pictures of people living on the streets and pictures of people in poverty are flashing up and they intermixed with clips of the band singing and worshipping together with these lyrics. And it was at this moment that I had this thought: 


I want to do that. I want to go and tell those people about Jesus Christ. 


How would I do that? Would they listen? How do I explain there is a God out there who loves them without them saying back to me, "If there's a God who loves me then why did he let this happen to me? Why am I living in poverty? Why did he let me lose my job? Why did he do this to me if he LOVES me?" I was so puzzled by my own thoughts and honestly completely clueless as to how to explain that. 


It seemed so contradictory watching the video of these people on stage singing about giving everything to the Lord and living for the Lord when they are comfortable, clothed, and fed. And then it would flash to the streets and people carrying all of their possessions and people sleeping on the streets. 


I'm not totally sure how to handle all of this. I'm not saying that we have to be uncomfortable in order to serve Christ - that is NOT what I am saying, so please don't take that from this. But I'm not saying that Christianity should be comfortable, because in my experience, most of the time it isn't easy.


I guess I would just challenge you. When you sing songs and when you say things about what you believe, be sure you actually believe it. When you sing about going out and telling the world, do you mean it? When you sing about surrendering everything to Christ, do you really mean it? When you say you live for one thing, are you really living that out?


For me it can be very easy to say that I do these things from the comfort of my home or apartment, while I'm in my air-conditioned chapel, and while I sit here eating cookies. I'm not in poverty, I'm not at risk of losing everything because of my faith, I'm not hungry, I'm not cold, and I have plenty to eat, drink, and wear. 


My challenge for myself, as well as for you, whoever you are, is to ask yourself this: if all of the comforts of the American lifestyle were taken away, would your answers to those questions above be the same? Would you still say "Yes" to Jesus if you knew that once you did, it would cost you everything? Because we know it can, we say we would give it all up to follow him, but would we still say "Yes" if we knew it would? I know we can't fully know what our answers would be because of the reality in which we are currently living; we can't fully separate ourselves from our current reality.


So with all that in mind, watch this video. Your thoughts, agreeing or disagreeing, are welcome and wanted. 


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Change in the Making

Posted by Morgan
God is so so SO good. I can't emphasize that enough. He has given me so much confirmation lately. God is changing my heart, goodness, he's changing my life. God has been doing something huge in my heart and life over the past 6 months, and it has been painful, but so beautiful and so sweet. God is beyond good. 


This morning I was talking to my precious, precious friend Rachel and as I was talking to her about some things, she just goes, "I can see the change in you. It's so different now, and it's so good." My heart just soared in praise to God. My desire is for him to change my heart and to empty me of me and fill me back up with him. Ah. God is so so good. He's changing me, I'm still a work in progress (I always will be) but he is working on me, and I know it and I love it. It's all for his glory and his honor. 


Again with the songs, but still, listen to it. It's amazing.
Addison Road is amazing :)

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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