A Heavy and Joyful Heart

Posted by Morgan
I don't know how it's possible to spend a few hours with people you just met, but when you leave, feel closer to them than you do to people that you see everyday or have known for years. The connections you can form with people so quickly astounds me when you come together for a common purpose.

My heart hurts and at the same time, it's overflowing with love and joy. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have gotten to know these people and at the same time, it shakes me to my very core that I might never get to see them again. I know that sounds slightly dramatic, but I can't fully explain this without saying things like that. And let's be honest, sometimes life is dramatic and guess what, that's okay.

You know when you meet people and there is just and instant connection and you go there and you go deep and it isn't awkward or hard - it's natural. I find that way of living so much more rewarding than the shallow everyday interactions that we so often fall prey to in America.

Tonight onboard the Logos Hope we had an incredible night of worship and there were people laying on their faces worshiping the Lord, there were people who were brought to their knees in tears and were weeping before the Lord. For the band, it was the most amazing experience and we were all so lost in worship that it kind of amazes me  that we all started and stopped together. You know when you have that sweet time of worship with the Lord and you walk away feeling such a sense of peace and almost tangibly feeling the presence of the Lord? Well that was tonight.

After worship I sat and talked with Stephanie and a little bit later Matt joined us. I'm so blessed to have gotten the privilege to get to know these two amazing people and I wish I had gotten more time with them, but God knows what He's doing, and I trust Him. But I cannot lie, when I got in the van after saying by to them on the ground at port, I definitely shed a few tears.

My heart hurts and I miss them - even though I only knew them a few days. God is good and has blessed me with the opportunity to know some amazing people - and I'm thankful for that, even if it's just for a few days.

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Lebanon Update

Posted by Morgan
This place is amazing. It absolutely floors me everytime I look out my window and see the Mediterranean Sea. It is breath-taking pretty much everytime I look.

Yesterday afternoon I sat out on the balcony and had some good precious time with the Lord. I sat there drinking my hot tea, listening to my iPod, reading my Bible, and journaling all while looking out on to the Mediterranean Sea. Talk about AMAZING.

Most of our time here has been spend rehearsing, sightseeing, and then so far we have done one chapel service in a school. The school was a really neat experience in itself. It was a catholic school and it was pretty much an all girls school. People here just stare at me, and I'm not talking about just a passing glance, I mean they will just look and look and look for like five minutes - and that's no exaggeration. We asked Milad, our contact here, why they all keep looking at me. He said it's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes - I don't know why I didn't think of that reason in the first place. So basically, I'm a novelty over here, so people just stop and stare. Thank goodness we are traveling with a great group of guys - so I don't think anyone will be approaching me anytime soon. :)

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. We're going to be doing three big concerts and I'm actually going to be leading two songs - AH! I can't believe it. Bill just asked me to do another one tonight - Here I Am to Worship. When you think about the words - it's totally a Christmas song. LOVE IT. At the beginning of the week I got really intimidated because this band is full of absolutely amazing musicians, and here I was having to ask for help to hear the harmonies. I was literally in tears before our first performance at the school. But God is good and I am surrounded by people who are encouraging and with God's help - I'm going to nail this harmonies.

This literally feels surreal, and I don't think that I am going to fully be aware that it actually happened until I come back. I cannot express to you the sense of urgency that I still feel for this country in this time. I was not aware of the fact that Lebanon is a country that has been through so many different times of war. The whole city of Beirut is in a stage of rebuilding and there are huge construction projects happening all over the city. It's amazing - but sad at the same time.

Today we went sightseeing and it was beautiful - but I'll have to write about those things later, because it is 11:41 pm here (4:41 pm at home) and I have to get to bed because we have to be up for breakfast at 7:30 in the morning - it's gonna be a long, but wonderful day - I can just tell :)

Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Semester Reflections/Lebanon Beginnings

Posted by Morgan
Well, I can't believe another semester is over. It has been the fastest and the longest semester, and yes, I am well aware that I sound crazy. :) But it's true. This semester has been the most unexpected, the most challenging, the most frustrating, and in a way, the most rewarding semester I've had over the past two and a half years. 

Before leaving for school back in August, I was having a really difficult time with the idea of going back. I was ready to go, but I knew that this semester was not going to be anything like the previous semesters and I knew it would be challenging, but I had no idea it would be like it was. BUT, and I've said this a lot, and if you've talked to me about this semester, I can pretty much guarantee that I said this to you: I would not trade this semester for easy one. I have learned so much more through these trials than I would have if this semester had been all sunshine and butterflies. Life is not always a pretty and peaceful walk in the park, and as clique as this sounds, sometimes it is a climb up a mountain in the pouring rain - but that's okay. In fact, it is good.  I know I've said it, and I'll say it again - I would not trade it. It's been such a precious time with Jesus. Learning to trust him and walk through life everyday with a new mindset and a new sense of purpose is a beautiful thing.


Well, in a little under five hours I will be flying out to Lebanon. I cannot explain to you in words how excited I am for this trip. Last week I was sitting in my room trying to pack and I was listening to some music and I was praying and asking the Lord what his heart was for this trip; what is his purpose for us going. All of the sudden I was struck with the overwhelming sense of urgency. And very clearly I hear this, "I am moving. You are going to meet a need that is urgent." I cannot fully put it all into words the sense that was in my heart in my spirit at that moment, but I found myself on my knees praying and asking the Lord to prepare my heart for what is coming. 


I am so ready, guys. I'm excited, but not in the traditional sense that most people would think of. I know God is about to move in some big ways, I can't wait to see. I'm a willing vessel and I cannot wait to see how he moves! I will by flying over the ocean in a few hours :) 


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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What a Journey

Posted by Morgan
Isn't it interesting how God can just completely transform your heart? I'm kind of amazed by it. Last night I was reading through my journal and I was looking back at where I was and what I was writing six months ago and then three months ago, and I'm just in complete awe. It's awesome to see how God can change your heart and change your desires almost instantly, and yet some take time to change. God just amazes me, he truly does. 


This semester has been such a whirlwind and when looking back, I barely know what happened or how I made it through. That's the honest truth. What I do know: The Lord has carried me. There is absolutely no way that I have gone through this semester without him carrying me. 


I think that at different points during this semester, my heart has been broken before the Lord as it never has before and then at other points my heart has never overflowed with joy more than it has this semester, and at some points, both were happening. It's crazy, I know. God has been humbling me in so many ways that it's kind of ridiculous. 


The plan that God had/has for this semester is pretty much the exact opposite of what I had planned. If someone had come to me in May and told me everything that was going this fall I would NOT have believed them. But nevertheless, I am so grateful for it. If you've talked to me at all this semester, you've heard me say this, but I honestly mean this: I wouldn't trade it. I wouldn't trade the hard stuff for easy. I wouldn't trade in the refinement for something comfortable. This semester has taught me so much and these lessons and the heart transformation that is taking place is worth far more than being comfortable or having it "easy".  As Christians, we are not promised that this life would be easy. In fact, we can see that following Christ is far from easy - but it is the one decision I've made in my life that is invaluable. 


The people who have met me this semester, I feel, have gotten such a different first impression of me than they would have if they had met me under any other circumstances. I've really wrestled with the Lord on this particular issue - considering the fact that I've been trying to make some new friends this semester. He made one thing very clear to me very early on: I will bring the friends to you that you need and they will like you because you are you, not because you make a great first impression. Yes, humbling is definitely what you can call that. 


I've come a long way with this post all to say that my heart feels so different. Yes, feelings change, but there are days my heart feels different and there are days it doesn't - but I know it is. My desires have changed, my goals have changed, my life has changed. God is doing such a work in me, and it's all for His glory. And honestly, that's all I want.  I don't want my story to be about me - I want it to be about the Lord. I want to show people the love of the Lord and let them see the freedom we have in Christ.


I am found, forgiven, and free; I want everyone to know that same love and freedom.


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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Four Seasons

Posted by Morgan
I went for a run this morning and it was absolutely gorgeous. It was pretty chilly, but I loved it. As I'm running through Shimmels Park I was looking at all the gorgeous leaves on the ground and admiring the changing colors of the trees, God literally placed this analogy on my heart and it came to me so quickly that I almost couldn't comprehend it all at once. I was thinking about my favorite seasons, Fall and Spring, and why they are my favorites. And all of the sudden God showed me the coolest picture. The four different seasons are like seasons in our lives. We'll start with Summer, cause that just makes the most sense to me! :)


Summer: As we all know, summers in the south are HOT! Especially in Georgia. Summers can be hot and long and exhausting. Summers in life are the hard trials, the beginning of them. These are the hard times; it's the heat of the fire and the initial start of whatever difficult circumstance is in your life. Sometimes it's full of a lot of pain and tension. I mean, it's a trial, it's not exactly going to be easy.


Fall: Fall is beautiful to me. I love the changing of the colors and the cool crisp air. Fall is the time where the old dies and passes away, but it does so in a beautiful way. It's like the season of life where God is chipped away and taking away the things in your life that aren't good; its the process of dying to self, and it's beautiful. When God is working on your life, yes it will be hard, but it will be beautiful.


Winter: Winter is cold and long and hard, but when it snows, there is beauty. Winters in life are the times where you become dependent on the Lord (or it's where I become more dependent on the Lord, anyway). In winter everything is dead or dormant. Winter can be harsh. It's like a bleak period where, if you are not focused on Christ, it can feel like all hope is lost. It's like when you're sick, and there's that time where you aren't contagious any more, but you have to take those few extra days to make sure the virus is out of your system, well winters are those few days for your life. Whatever God is stripping away to make you more like him, this is that time where you are refined and the time where the selfishness of whatever he is taking away dies off (if you allow it to). 


Spring: Oh spring! Such a wonderful and beautiful time. This is when life begins. It's a new season. After the hard times of winter, new life comes. Spring always reminds me that we are new creations in Christ Jesus. And in each spring of life, you are becoming more like Christ. It's a time of growth and a time of prospering. And spring, is beautiful :)


I hope that makes sense. :) It makes sense in my head, I just don't know if I explained it every well.
Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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An Answered Prayer

Posted by Morgan
So last night was so interesting - and such a God night! This semester has been so different, I'm pretty sure I've said that a time or two, and this weekend is only the third weekend I've stayed on campus all semester. I do really well during the week because I can be so busy and I don't have a problem sitting in my apartment at night doing homework, because its a weekday - that's okay with me. But the last thing anyone wants to do on a friday night is homework. 


So I put on some warmer clothes and went outside for a walk, just to see what was going on. I walked around, called a few friends, who were all busy - I mean, it's friday night, that's expected.  So I'm walking back to my apartment and I was just praying and asking God for a friend. It actually went like this: God, I know there is purpose in this time. I know that you are growing me and changing my heart and my life. But, honestly, a friend would be really great. I know its not something I have to have, but its something I would love. 


Well, as I'm walking by the Sharp-Davis parking lot, this red Mustang is pulling out and I recognize it and smile to myself because I knew who it was. Well, if I've ever tried to lie to you, you know it. Because I'm the WORST liar ever. Especially when I'm asked if I'm okay. Last night was rough, and I was really in no mood to cover that up. Sarah, the precious girl who sits next to me in Marriage and Family class, rolled down her window and asked me how I was, and I said, good...sort of. And she said we should hang out and I said yeah that would be good.


God is faithful and good! I didn't need to sit in my apartment all night, and God provided people for me to hang out with. We went to the sand volleyball courts and I just watched them play. God has purpose in all of this. It's so wonderful and it's so beautiful; doesn't mean it's easy, but God is faithful and his ways are far better than my own. And I'm reminded that God cares about the little things - even something to do on a Friday night! :)


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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A Challenge

Posted by Morgan
So the other day in chapel was sang "The Time Has Come" by Hillsong United. And this morning I looked up the song on youtube, because I wasn't sure I had it on my itunes. I came up with this video. And it's a live video with clips in between, I think it was done for a DVD or something. Anyway, I'm sitting there listen to these lyrics: 


The time has come to stand for all we believe in, so I, for one, am gonna give my praise to you. Today, today it's all or nothing. All the way, my praise goes out to you. Yeah my praise goes out to you. Today, today I live for one thing: to give you praise in everything I do, yeah my praise goes out to you.


And as these are being sung, pictures of people living on the streets and pictures of people in poverty are flashing up and they intermixed with clips of the band singing and worshipping together with these lyrics. And it was at this moment that I had this thought: 


I want to do that. I want to go and tell those people about Jesus Christ. 


How would I do that? Would they listen? How do I explain there is a God out there who loves them without them saying back to me, "If there's a God who loves me then why did he let this happen to me? Why am I living in poverty? Why did he let me lose my job? Why did he do this to me if he LOVES me?" I was so puzzled by my own thoughts and honestly completely clueless as to how to explain that. 


It seemed so contradictory watching the video of these people on stage singing about giving everything to the Lord and living for the Lord when they are comfortable, clothed, and fed. And then it would flash to the streets and people carrying all of their possessions and people sleeping on the streets. 


I'm not totally sure how to handle all of this. I'm not saying that we have to be uncomfortable in order to serve Christ - that is NOT what I am saying, so please don't take that from this. But I'm not saying that Christianity should be comfortable, because in my experience, most of the time it isn't easy.


I guess I would just challenge you. When you sing songs and when you say things about what you believe, be sure you actually believe it. When you sing about going out and telling the world, do you mean it? When you sing about surrendering everything to Christ, do you really mean it? When you say you live for one thing, are you really living that out?


For me it can be very easy to say that I do these things from the comfort of my home or apartment, while I'm in my air-conditioned chapel, and while I sit here eating cookies. I'm not in poverty, I'm not at risk of losing everything because of my faith, I'm not hungry, I'm not cold, and I have plenty to eat, drink, and wear. 


My challenge for myself, as well as for you, whoever you are, is to ask yourself this: if all of the comforts of the American lifestyle were taken away, would your answers to those questions above be the same? Would you still say "Yes" to Jesus if you knew that once you did, it would cost you everything? Because we know it can, we say we would give it all up to follow him, but would we still say "Yes" if we knew it would? I know we can't fully know what our answers would be because of the reality in which we are currently living; we can't fully separate ourselves from our current reality.


So with all that in mind, watch this video. Your thoughts, agreeing or disagreeing, are welcome and wanted. 


Singing Harmony,
Morgan
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