Every thing book I read, every song I listen to, every conversation I have seems to continually point me in one single direction: full and complete surrender. I am being called to release to the Lord all of MY plans, MY hopes, and MY dreams. I am being called to trust the Lord in a more full and complete way with my future. There are some things that I have always held on to, and I've held on to them very tightly. There are several things like that, mainly they have to do with my future. What I will do, who I will be with, where I will be, who I will be around. All things like that.
Letting go is NOT easy. And to be honest, I don't like it at all. I am really bad about thinking about some things and over-analyzing them. The hardest part of surrender for me, at the moment any way, is keeping my thoughts and my mind focused on the Lord and not on the situation, or the thing I am trying to surrender.
When I say everything has been pointing to surrender, I'm not kidding. I was listening to my sister's iPod in the car last night and the first song that came on was "Holding Nothing Back" by Melissa How, the second song was "I Surrender" by Kim Walker and I was like, are you kidding me? God really does know how to get my attention.
About two weeks ago I read a series by Terri Blackstock. They were Christian fiction novels - I LOVED them. There were four in the series, and they were about a family living the typical American dream. Then suddenly all the power goes out, and not just electricity, cars didn't work, cell phones didn't work, basically nothing electronic worked. The books were about their journey of trusting the Lord and surrendering to Him even when the circumstances around them told them to rely on their own strength. The family went through loss and gain, joy and heartache. It really got me thinking about giving God glory and praise when everything around you is going wrong. When it feels like life just isn't fair and that the Lord should be doing something about what is going on. I know I forget that He really is in full control all the time. Anyway, the books really taught me a lot about surrendering to the Lord, even when every your fallen human desires say not to.
Well, this hasn't been the most up-beat post. But it's honest. And that really is all I want to be. Honest with what God is doing in my heart and life. I'm not going to sugar-coat things, I hate sugar-coated things. Anyway, this is where I am. Walking with the Lord, walking through the hard stuff, and seeking him on a greater and deeper level.
Singing Harmony,
Morgan
3 comments:
On the contrary, Morgan! I think these kinds of posts are the most encouraging to read. Surrender can seem "not up-beat" but God makes it exciting and relieving.
p.s. i like the makeover ;)
thanks robin! :)
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