Too many thoughts, too little time

Posted by Morgan
At the start of this post it is 3:03 a.m. and I cannot sleep. I considered getting up and continuing to pack up, but that just depressed me. I cried for a little while, the end of IMPACT is pretty much the saddest thing I have EVER thought about. And right about now I would pretty much just prefer to never leave this place. I have an the most amazing and life-changing year, and I never would have imagined it. I've learned so much, I've grown so much, and God has taught me so much. Goodness, how about I saw "so much" a few more times. I guess that's what I get for posting this late at night...not a whole lot of diverse vocabulary coming to mind.

But right now what I'm currently thinking about is the next few days. We have class and just time to hang out. And honestly, I want to just cry the whole time, well I don't particularly WANT to, but that is probably what will happen. All day today I've been crying on and off. I've been packing up my room, which feels like packing up my life. I don't like putting things in boxes, it feels like the end, and maybe because it is. Ugh, it's awful. I honestly do not know how I am going to make it through the summer without these people right beside me. At this point in time it is so hard to even imagine being happy somewhere else. I love it here. I love the town, I love the people in the town, I love my class, I love the staff, I love this campus, I even love the work we do. So basically, I just love IMPACT 360. 

Right now my entire IMPACT life is all over the floor of room 17. From homework assignments, books, hand-written notes and craft supplies, to speeches, hangers, and even to jewelry, my life is everywhere. Tonight I cleaned out my desk...and now everything I'm still keeping is on top of it. I also cleaned out under the sink...and that was gross, but now it is really clean. I also put away all the clothes I won't need from now until friday in boxes. Oh my gosh, so depressing. I hate it. I hate leaving and I hate saying goodbye. I know that change is necessary and I know that it is needed sometimes, but that does NOT mean that I have to like it or be excited about it, because I'm not. Not at all, and not this change. Other changes - maybe - but not this one. This one is just plain AWFUL.

Leaving is just plain awful. Goodness, one of my top strengths is positivity and here I am being all pessimistic. Oh well. I'm too far into this mindset to change it right now. All I know is that I want to spend these last few days with people. I never want to be alone. Goodness, I am surely going to miss this place.


Singing Harmony,

Morgan
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